The Little Bestseller That Wasn't

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, a woman named Jenn wrote a little book called Reunion.  Born of a tiny kernel of truth and fertilized with a healthy dose of imagination, Reunion blossomed into more than even Jenn thought was possible.  She loved the little novel, nurturing it and showing it off proudly for all to see.  People came from far and wide -- virtually of course -- to sing the praises of the book that had bestseller written all over it.

With so much enthusiasm for her little book, Jenn decided to contact The Agent.  Now The Agent was known throughout the land for casting off unknown authors and bestowing its praises on only a select few chosen manuscripts.  Surely Jenn's little bestseller with all its accolades would be among them.  But alas, she too was forsaken by The Agent.

Saddened by her rejection, Jenn wandered into the Forum Forest where she happened upon some Knowledge Fairies.  The Knowledge Fairies gave Jenn a precious gift - the answer to why The Agent had so readily dispensed her hard work and passion.  'Twas the plight of those who chose to market their own books they said.  For The Agent was only interested in virgin books that had not yet seen the light of day.

Although she was grateful for the gift handed down by the Knowledge Fairies, she found little comfort in their wisdom.  Had her love of her work inadvertently sealed its fate?  Would The Agent mend its evil ways and grant Reunion a coveted second chance?

Sadly, I do not know how this fairy tale ends.  Only time will tell ...

What's new and on the horizon

For those who didn't hear me screaming at the top of my lungs a few days ago, The Cinderella Curse is done and available via Amazon and Smashwords.  It's a novella, weighing in at 70 pages by hardback standards, but at $0.99, it's a pretty good bang for the buck (literally).  I won't post the full description here since it's readily available on Amazon, but in brief it's a fractured fairy tale that ventures back to my writing roots - humor.

I had such fun writing The Cinderella Curse that I think I'm going to write more in the short story/novella family.  I'm currently working on a little something tentatively titled The (almost) Lesbian Club.  If you're married or otherwise attached to a man and have ever uttered the phrase, "In my next life I'm going to be a lesbian," then this humorous little story will be for you.

Not to worry, I haven't forgotten about Miss Taken Identity.  Intended to be my next full-length novel, it's about 15-20% complete and therefore still very much in the works.  For more on that story line and a couple sample chapters, visit my website.  And yes, the Reunion sequel is still on the horizon ... just a bit further off.

As if that weren't enough, I have yet another little project brewing in my over-active brain ... A series.  Yes, a series.  Will they be full length novels or novellas?  I'm not sure yet, but the idea for the main character and the story thread is definitely there.  I won't say more until it's further into production ... I just like to tease ya! ;)

In closing, it's a bit lonely around here lately.  Post me some comments, will ya?  I always love to hear from readers!

My thing is bigger than his thing ... and other inane ramblings

It seems I've been a blog slacker lately (does that make me a blocker?).  This is my attempt to make up for it by stringing a few completely unrelated thoughts together in one post.  It's also quite late so apologies in advance for any real or perceived incoherence or nonsense above the norm.

My thing is bigger than his thing ...
When my husband came home last evening, we did our usual end of day round up.  You know, the usual married protocol -- how was your day and so forth.  In the course of the debriefing, my husband said, "My thing is bigger than his thing."  I ask you ... How often in the course of a workday can you say something like that, barring the porn industry?  It really cracked me up, but maybe you had to be there.

I feel British, oh so British ...
This is going to sound strange since I'm from Maryland and have never even been to England (yet), but I've been feeling rather British lately, so to speak.  It seems I've been somewhat immersed.  I've been reading Marian Keyes' Angels, which is steeped in across-the-pond vernacular.  Yes I know she's Irish not British, but they do have similar jargon so spot me on this one.  It also seems many of the people I converse with about books on forums are British.  Additionally, one of the characters in the novel I am working on is British, so I've been doing a little bit of Brit researh.  Consequently, words like bugger and slogging and bum have been popping into my vocabulary -- not just in my writing or even things I say but in my thoughts.  Weird.  I kind of hope they bugger off lest I come across as some British wannabe fruitcake!

It seems I may have a direct line to God ...
As I was standing in my kitchen, looking out the window at the buckets of snow falling down last weekend, it occurred to me that this could be my fault.  Right there, hanging on the inside of my ice-caked window is a lovely little heart-shaped suncatcher type thing with a snowman on it - a remnant from the Christmas decorations that came down ages ago.  In lovely white lettering it reads LET IT SNOW above the snowman.  I have also been known to say that if it's going to be cold, I'd just as soon have snow.  I think God must have been paying attention because we've got another 10-20" of the white stuff pounding us again, with even more in the not-so-distant forecast.  Heretoforth I shall scratch out the words on my suncatcher and replace them with PLEASE PUBLISH REUNION.  Think it will work?

And in other news ...
For those even half interested in the latest goings on of my publishing woes, here is a tidbit of good news.  An agent (a reputable one even!) has requested additional material beyond my initial query for Reunion.  This may mean that I am two steps away from rejection instead of just one this time around, but I will remain optimistic for now.  Too soon to find out if Bradley Cooper is available to play Kyle in the film adaptation?? ;)

Size Does Matter

Hey, hey, get your mind out of the gutter!  I'm talking about clothing and latex gloves here.  First let me state the obvious.  One size does not fit all.  Such a concept, much less size category, is purely ridiculous and should not even exist.  Name one clothing item where one size can truly fit all.  You can't do it.  I'm sure of it.  Heck, one individual size (like 3 or 4 or 6 etc.) does not even always fit one single person!

So I was cleaning the bathroom last night with my "size small" lined, anti-microbial, long toilet-water-will-never-touch-me scrubby gloves and my fingers kept slipping out of the finger sleeves.  Annoying!  And that's when it occurred to me that designers of various clothing items are either deformed, narrow-minded, or just plain old garden variety stupid ... or maybe all of the above.  We have size zero clothing now.  Incidentally, a friend recently said to me that zero isn't even a size and she had a point.  I mean, zero is nothing by definition, but I digress.  So we have size zero jeans, dresses, etc.  What are these women wearing on their hands?  Do these teeny tiny women have gigantic hands on the ends of their perfectly toned arms?  How is it that some items are designed for the smaller crowd and others are not?  I may not be a size zero, but I am petite, so I have small hands.  Why oh why hath the clothing and accessory designers forsaken me?  And why can't everyone get together on some uniform size measurements?  Which brings up another age-old issue ...

Yes, it's been said millions of times before, no doubt, but here it is again.  How is it that men come in a wide variety of sizes but women's shapes can be pared down into a small handful of proportions?  Are they kidding me?!  The exact opposite seems more true.  I mean, let's face it, even the fattest guy you know probably has a small butt.  All that gut action on men mushrooms over their pants, not inside them.  And what man complains of thunder thighs?  Seriously.  Yet they get precise (well, as precise as clothing designers can seem to get) waist and inseam measurements while women get a single size that's supposed to fit the tall and the small and every variation among them.  Ludicrous!  Have you ever tried to squeeze a watermelon into a paper towel tube?  Could get tricky, no?    Sadly, the plight of the curvy female body goes largely unheard.  Of course, that doesn't mean we can't keep screaming.

State of the (Re)Union - a.k.a. The Inevitable Rant

Life as an author is a roller coaster ride.  I've enjoyed a few exhilarating twists and turns but it seems the big butterfly-inducing, scream worthy hill continues to elude me.  Hence the rant.  At first glance, it would seem the target of my rant should be those darn agents who are the gatekeepers to the big-time publishing world, but upon closer inspection, the real root of the problem has to be every Tom, Dick, and Harry that thinks he's written the next War and Peace but has come up about a million feet short.  Yes, the problem with querying, I believe, is really the number of queries.  It makes the selection process so stringent that even the next big thing can easily slip through unnoticed.  Not that my book is the next big thing (although I secretly think it could be), but you get the idea.

Let's look at the facts, shall we?  And in the process, for all of you gracious grass roots supporters, give you an update on the progress of Reunion.  To date:

• One author interview podcast on ReviewYak 
• Two additional author interviews completed (ChickLitPlus posted; ChickLitClub coming soon)
• One featured book giveaway on ChickLitClub (thru Feb 4)
• Featured on ChickLitClub's High Raters page among big name bestselling authors - this is HUGE
• 8/10 review by Paula Phillips
• 5-star reviews on Amazon 
• Thumbs up from Clare Tanner of the Book Habit Show in NZ (she called it "uber contemporary," "highly marketable," and "a page turner")
• Upcoming review on ChickLitPlus site
• Two additional copies out for review at the moment
• Local media publicity in the works
• Discounting personal sales, more than 80 copies sold - 19 so far in January alone (I know, that's little more than a tank of gas in royalties but in the self-publishing world it's huge)
• Miraculously picked up by two brick & mortar bookstores (unsolicited)
  
• About 18 agent query rejections to date

That last item doesn't quite fit, does it?  My feeling exactly. So, we continue plodding along on faith and positive feedback.  But make no mistake, word of mouth is spreading.  And to those who think that chick lit is dead or dying ... oh no it is not!  For as long as there are romantic comedies in theaters and on TV, there will be chick lit.  You can call it something else, but it will still be light, humorous, entertaining reading for women and a select few men curious or bold enough to want to learn more about the female spirit.

I do promise that this blog will not always be about Reunion or even just writing, but it does happen to be residing at the forefront of my brain at the moment as I continue to send out queries and try to make a small splash in a very large pond.

Welcome

I thought I should do something ceremonious and perhaps even profound for my first foray into this digital diary thing, but instead, I'll just say hi. So HI. Oh, and welcome too.